A lay missionary helps change the Indo-Fijian practice of not calling wives by their names.
By Rowena Dato Cuanico

When fellow Columban lay missionary Beth Briones and I arrived in Fiji, we spent our first six weeks at the Holy Cross Catholic Community in Naleba. In addition to learning more about the culture of Naleba’s Indo-Fijians and improving our language fluency, another challenge was remembering—and correctly pronouncing—everyone’s name.

On our first Sunday in Naleba, we were introduced to the members of the community who are mostly Indo-Fijians. (Indo-Fijians are descendants of slaves brought from India to work on Fiji’s plantations during colonial British rule. Nearly half of all Fijians trace their ancestry to India.)

I was surprised during the introductions to the women in the community. Few were introduced to us by their names.

Most were referred to as their husband’s wife. “Samuel ke aurat hain,” (Samuel’s wife).

So that’s how I came to know Samuel’s wife, Deo Dass’s wife and the other wives in the community. But I kept wondering: don’t they have names of their own?

Leaving Families Behind
I turned for answers to Aunt Lila, whom I lived with at the time. Aunt Lila helped me learn the history of Naleba and the relationship among different families. She also introduced me to our Muslim, Hindu and Anglican friends.

Aunt Lila and I set out to learn the names of these women. Surprisingly, some names proved difficult, even for Aunt Lila, to remember. That’s probably because these names were rarely spoken.

Aunt Lila explained why. When an Indo-Fijian woman marries, she becomes part of her husband’s family. The woman leaves her family—literally. Some women even receive their inheritance on their wedding day. On that day, she ceases to be part of her family. Once I saw a videotape of a wedding where there was a lot of crying, even wailing, in the bride’s family.

Some women, particularly in the old days, were not even allowed to see their families again, except maybe during a wedding or funeral in the family. While times are changing, some still practice this cultural tradition.

In the Indo-Fijian culture the wife is expected to follow her husband’s religious beliefs. Some Catholic women who married men of other faiths no longer come to Church. Yet, we also have a lot of converts, women who have become Catholics after marrying Catholic husbands.

However, Aunt Lila and I have found women with influence in the home, although it is subtle. Most children talk with their mothers first rather than going directly to their fathers, giving these mothers influence and authority.

Names Spoken & Heard
With these cultural influences in mind, Aunt Lila and I started our task of learning the names of the women of Naleba. I learned that Samue's wife is Indra. Baby is the name of Deo Dass’s wife. Other names we learned are Roshni, Rina, Jyoti, Sheryn, Rosa, Shobna, and Margaret. Their names are beautiful, for indeed they are beautiful and hardworking women.

When Aunt Lila and I attended Mass two Sundays later, we called these women by their names. Some looked surprised, while others were amused that we knew their names. Aunt Lila and I could only smile. It was a beginning. Since then, we tried to call each woman in the community by name.

After this, some good things started to happen. Some women took responsibility in reviving the mandalis (prayer group).

They and with their children became more active in preparing the liturgy. Some would lead the choir, and others would serve as lectors and commentators.

In July 2002, Baby and five others were commissioned as Eucharistic ministers. Baby was the first woman of the community to receive this commission. Recently, they elected Florence Raj, a teacher, as vice president of the Holy Cross Catholic community.

The names of the women in the community are at least now known. Their names could finally be spoken and heard. To a certain extent, these women are hidden no more.

Rowena Dato Cuanico is a Columban lay missionary from the Philippines serving her second three-year mission in Fiji.