| Teaching Families; Healing Their Own |
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A Peruvian couple saves their own family by helping families communicate better and teach their children Christianity. By Fr. Peter Woodruff Editor's Note: The Family Catechesis program originated in Chile and was introduced in parishes on the south side of Lima in 1979. It had evolved in Chile as an initiative flowing from the renewal call by the Second Vatican Council and by the 1968 Latin American Bishops conference in Medellin, Colombia. From the early 1970s on, the Family Catechesis program has been designed to deepen the faith of adults within their families and to form Christian communities.
Here in the Columban parishes of sprawling Lima, Peru, Victor Sanca de la Cruz and Kathy Vega Díaz are our collaborators in Family Catechesis, a popular and important parish program that addresses family life and Christian formation of children. 
Partners in life and mission. Victor and Kathy help run a parish program in Lima that teaches family communication and first Communion preparation.
Today the Church in Latin America wants to enter into a state of mission. Pope John Paul II used to tell us that the evangelization of the continent cannot happen without the collaboration of the laity. They must be active and creative in drawing up and carrying out pastoral projects for the good of the community (paragraph 229). It is the laity of our continent, aware of their call to sanctity by virtue of their baptismal calling, who must act like the yeast in the dough in order to build a temporal city in accordance with God’s project (paragraph 505). The Family Catechesis program is important to life in our parish community because it creates family dialogue with the potential to transform the way a family functions. In the Columban-run The Holy Archangels parish in Lima, the program has been the main instrument for introducing a steady stream of adults into evangelization work in other parishes. Victor recently wrote this story about his and Kathy’s experience of family life and commitment to the task of evangelization. As teen-agers, we helped start a parish youth group called “United Youth.” Columban missionaries, such as Sr. Ana Maria Mulqueeny (now retired to Ireland) and Fr. Michael Fitzgerald (now deceased), helped us get the youth group started. In 1978, Kathy and I married; we were the first couple from the youth group to take that step. Work and family took us away from the group. Ingrid was born in 1978 and Alonso in 1981. Two years after tying the knot, however, our marriage relationship began to go downhill. Part of our issues was that we came from different experiences of family life. Kathy’s family is from the north of Peru and had a custom of sharing much of their lives. Eating together around a table was an essential part of family life. My family was so different: my parents are from the central Andes and lived the family values they learned there. My mother looked after the home, and my father spent his life working and socializing with his friends. I had just one brother, and the four of us went about our lives in a more or less independent way. I thought Kathy’s wish for more family sharing was excessive; Kathy just could not get through to me. For about seven years, we lived with a deep tension between us, and I could not find a way to face the challenge of healing and deepening our relationship. Kathy’s family experience had inculcated her belief of the equality of the man and woman in the marriage. But my family experience left me with the idea that the woman’s place is in the home with the children and that the man should be the breadwinner and make his way with friends and workmates outside the home. Kathy’s despondency led to a mild nervous breakdown. She talked with my mother about her troubles but, even then, found no support as she was told that she must accept men as they are. This is just how life is, she was told, and she should be content with having a home, children and money for food and other necessities. Kathy’s sickness worried me, and I took her to a doctor. Still, I was blinded to the truth and failed to understand her complaints. When I talked to friends and co-workers about the situation, they just confirmed my blindness. A Life-Changing Injury Ingrid saw her mother’s profound unhappiness; she saw her mother crying alone and, through her, Kathy and I discovered a way to break down the wall that had separated us for so long. Ingrid was 8 years old and wanted to make her first Holy Communion. The parish-based program ran for two periods of six months each. There was a weekly session in the parish for the children and another for the parents. The parents also were required to talk at home with their children about the theme of the week. For the first six-month period, Kathy went to the parents’ sessions, but I refused to join in and had no interest. I was absorbed by my well-paying job and was active in the workers’ union. I played soccer with my friends on weekends and, after our matches, we sat around drinking beer and chatting. Then, disaster struck. I had injured my knee badly while playing soccer and needed an operation. I was shocked and afraid. I saw my misfortune as a punishment from God, another cultural heirloom from my Andean family background. God was retaliating for not helping Kathy in the first Communion program for Ingrid. Before surgery, I decided to join in the Family Catechesis program with Kathy. Together, we attended the meetings for the six-month period. The program was new in The Holy Archangels parish, and there were too few group leaders, so Kathy and I took on the leadership of a group. The year was 1986: the year Pope John Paul II visited Peru and we helped organize a parish group to visit the venue where the pope met with about 500,000 people from the poorer parts of Lima. Our parish responsibilities, especially leading the group of first Communion parents, gave us the chance to discuss and review our lives. We learned to pray as a family, and I began to share in family meals. I learned to kiss my children, a custom that challenged me at first, especially when non-family members were present. I also learned to help Kathy with housework. The lifestyle change style came at a price, as friends ridiculed me when I attending parish meetings carrying my Bible. Kathy and I have remained active in Family Catechesis programs for more than 20 years. A retreat program for couples helped us arrive at an even-deeper reconciliation. When we marked 25 years of marriage, our local parish community organized a great celebration for us. One of the greatest joys for us over the years has been seeing married couples bridge the gaps that separated them. We have had the chance to help so many. We also have live evidence of the depth of our own reconciliation. Our daughter, Cristina, was born in 1993 and our son, Diego, came to us in 1995. |