A Columban priest gives poor and neglected children in the Philippines shelter and educational opportunities through his foundation.
Article and photos by Robert Fraass

I first met James Kim in my South Korea parish when his wife and two children were baptized. He himself was not baptized, but he came to church with his family and seemed to be a good father and husband comfortable with parishioners at our gatherings. He soon followed the path to baptism himself. There was a nice celebration for this likeable man.

Later, I learned that James liked to drink alcohol. He didn't do so often, but when he did, his personality changed, causing problems with his family and neighbors.

Over time, the drinking became more frequent. He lost his job; his children's schoolwork suffered; his wife's health deteriorated as she continued working solely for the income, and she became isolated from her friends.

It was heart-breaking to see alcohol not only destroying James, but taking his family with him.

When James was not drinking, the family was better, but there was always the fear, anxiety and tension like an uneasy calm before the next storm.

Over time, I learned that this family was not unique. These families are voiceless because of their shame and fear. They lived on the margins of Korea's medical and Catholic Church society, because there were no addiction services available for education, treatment, healing and restoring life.

I began to see that family ministries seemed to avoid people like this whom they deemed impossible to help.

12 Steps Come To Korea
In recovery from alcohol addiction, the first step often starts not with the alcoholic, but with family members and friends of the alcoholic. At about this same time, other Columban priests started education centers for alcohol and gambling problems. Twelve-step programs were started because of our concerns.

Two priests who had pioneered 12-step programs in Korea had died, so I was asked to take over an addiction recovery program in Seoul, South Korea's capital city. I had no trouble attracting people who wanted to attend the program at the center; it was the only such place in Korea, and we got calls from all over the country.

I also traveled to hospitals and visited with groups to teach family members and those working with addicts how to make life better. I learned that much damage is done by people with good intentions to help the alcoholic or compulsive gambler who, in fact, prolong or aggravate the problem because of their lack of knowledge or denial.

I have experienced much pain and heartbreak when listening to the stories of addicts over the years. I still get so angry when I come across people who have suffered for many more years than necessary, especially when they got wrong advice from someone like a priest, minister or medical professional.

After my work in Seoul, I moved on to Sydney, Australia, and continued my 12-step program work with both Koreans and those from other nations. As I completed studies in addiction counseling to be better prepared for my work, I was amazed at how often I met those who spoke with authority on the subject but who failed to inform themselves about counseling to become more effective.

Working with Koreans in Sydney has taught me some new things about addiction. Often, the addict had moved to Sydney to avoid temptation or to run from their problems and debts only to find that Sydney has more gambling machines and more clubs and pubs than Korea.

Combine this with the added stress of settling into a new language and culture, and family problems would often be brought to the surface. Children in the family must face alcohol and drug problems in their family.

As a result, a whole family becomes engaged in addictive and co-dependent behavior. The stress and tension often result in family violence and psychiatric illnesses, such as depression, paranoia and other disorders. The family in denial means that no one gets help, and the price is paid in mental and emotional problems.

Healing A Spiritual Problem
I see addiction as a spiritual problem. When older forms of "spirituality" that may have worked for many years break down, there is a need for something new that energizes the spirit of the person and the family.

This was the case with James and his family. The spirit they found in the Church was killed off through the slow death of alcohol addiction.
I know the heartbreak when someone refuses help, when someone dies because of alcohol, gambling, drugs or a related suicide or murder. But I refuse to dwell on the failures and continue to focus on those in recovery from addiction or co-dependent behavior.

I have been privileged and blessed to be allowed into the sacredness of so many lives. I have witnessed many miracles of healing, forgiveness, honesty, genuine love and concern for suffering sisters and brothers in recovery. I know people who have gone from hell and death to marvelous new lives.

Working with poor and voiceless people living on society's margins can seem to run counter to a world that values results. Jesus in the Gospels does not cure all diseases, but He brings peace, serenity, healing, forgiveness and certainly challenged people to be more honest.

The restoration of dignity, self-worth, confidence and the change of attitude and behavior displayed by recovering addicts keeps me reminded and focused on the call to go out and bring the Good News to others. I get angry and frustrated with people who fail to see the need for this family ministry when addiction and co-dependent behavior brings a spiritual sickness to every parish and church group.

Just as the addict and family members moving from denial to recovery know what it is "to open the eyes of the blind," I pray that our Church leaders and society continue to improve their care for addicts who quietly display their recovery in their ordinary, everyday lives.