Christian and tribal traditions are melded together in a wedding ceremony for a young Parkari Kohli couple.
By Fr. Paul McMahon

Among the Hindu Parkari Kohli tribal people in Pakistan, Christians are a small minority. So when a Christian Parkari Kohli couple decides to marry, it is a special event in which the Christian sacrament and respect for Parkari Kohli family customs come together.

I recently had the privilege of attending the wedding ceremony of Peter, a young Parkari Kohli man who works at the Columban tuberculosis clinic in Badin, and Jamna, his long-time fiancée.

One week before the wedding day, both Peter and Jamna celebrated tapna or the “sitting” ceremony individually in their own villages. This ancient custom is the beginning of the wedding ceremony in which the bride and groom must “sit” at home for at least one week to reflect, pray and meditate on the step they are about to take. They usually prepare a prayer corner in their homes and light incense and candles before holy pictures.

When the wedding day approaches, the whole family loses no time in sharing their happiness with their son or daughter who is to be married. A relative, such as a grandmother, covers the hands and feet of the bride or groom with mendhi (henna), which has a pleasant, cooling effect and turns the hands and feet a red color.

After this ceremony, close friends of the bride and groom help them bathe, dress and prepare for the wedding. They look after them as if they were a king and queen.

According to the Parkari Kohli tradition, the wedding always takes place in the woman’s village. So, Peter with his family, relatives and friends traveled by bus together with a drummer who announced the coming of the barat (wedding party).

When Peter’s wedding party arrived at Jamna’s village, they were warmly welcomed and seated in a large tent and fed spicy rice called butth. The women of the wedding party endlessly sang wedding songs—wishing Peter and Jamna many blessings in life.

After all the wedding guests ate, the wedding ceremonies began. Symbols of fruitfulness and blessings, like rice, money, coconuts and religious pictures, were shared between the bride’s house and the bridegroom’s tent while, as always, the women continued to sing.

While these ceremonies were being performed, a modvo (wedding canopy) was built in the courtyard of Jamna’s house. The modvo was supported with stalks of sugar cane from local fields and adorned with colorful decorations representing the universe and creation. At the center of the modvo, a small fire or candle was lit to represent the fire of life, and a cross was placed beside it to symbolize the Christian faith.

When the modvo is completed, the groom was brought into Jamna’s courtyard and symbolically welcomed by Jamna’s mother. Peter then took his seat by the modvo. Shortly afterward, the bride, led by her relatives and friends, took her seat beside him.

The Fire Of Life
The priest then led the ceremony with prayers and Bible readings during which the couple exchanged marriage vows. Then the couple, with faces covered, had their hands ceremonially tied together. They then led one another very slowly twice around the fire—the fire of life. This symbolizes the trust they must have in one another and to respect the pace of life.

This is the most important part of the ceremony, for it was only after walking around the fire (pera) that Peter and Jamna were considered husband and wife.

The ceremony was a very emotional experience for Peter, but even more so for Jamna.

She must now leave her home, mother, father, brothers and sisters and set up a new home in Peter’s village.

After the marriage ceremony, dancing began and continued through the night with men and women singing wedding songs and dancing in a circle around a drummer.

As dawn broke the next day, Peter and Jamna were ready to return to Peter’s village and start their new life together as husband and wife.

Columban Father Paul McMahon has been in Pakistan since shortly after his ordination in 1991.